Turkey!!!!!!!

It is almost Thanksgiving and I would like to take the opportunity to write about those things that I am thankful for the most. First, I am thankful that I have a job. I may gripe about it and whine occasionally (actually daily) but I am very grateful that I am gainfully employed. Second, I am thankful for my family and friends. I know it seems cliche, but seriously, I am very lucky to have great people in my life. This is especially important because I have such a shitty job. Third, I am thankful for my health. I am so lucky to have a body that functions properly. There are so many people out there with life threatening illnesses (which I meet mostly at my workplace), and I am happy to be healthy and have a healthy family. Lastly, I am thankful for Russ. He loves me in spite of my griping and whining about above job. I am very lucky to have such an awesome man in my life. So, in closing, I am very thankful for such good times with good people. I wish everyone reading this a very happy Thanksgiving, and holiday season. Eat bird.

Lance is a pervert.

This is the strangest ad campaign ever. Is Don Draper responsible for this?

"I got Lance in my pants." Eww.

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Really America?

Why is the engagement of two British people the "top story" this morning? The Today show spent ten minutes on the "Royal Engagement". My thoughts on the pending nuptials: I. Don't. Care. I also don't care about Lindsey Lohan's legal issues or Brangelina's rainbow baby. Not everyone wants smoke and mirrors.

I should not have to get my news from the BBC, which, in spite of being the home country of the prince and pending princess, had only a small blurb on the entire matter before reporting actual news.



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Attack of the flaming "J" turkey.

My assistant drew this awesome turkey on the office's dry erase board. I think the "J" stands for jive.

Smoke your meth asshole. I hate you.

Why did I have to give more information to buy Claritin D than I did to buy a house? I am sick; I really didn't need the third degree from a lady with hair the size of a Geo Metro. I realize that I live in a poor rural community known for its premium meth production, but did I really look like I was going to cook a batch of meth? No, I looked like Rudolph the red effin' nosed reindeer (maybe she thought I was a cokehead). I actually sneezed on her little notebook where I had to sign and swear to use the pills for good not evil.  Thanks a lot meth-heads for making my life a bit more Orwellian.

EDIT: To be fair, I just realized that Ms. Big Hair may have looked at my mismatched sock and  black clogs and thought no one would wear that mess unless a drug of some sort was involved. I still hate her, and meth cookers. Meh.

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Midterm Election Anxiety Reliever.

Guaranteed to make you smile:

Step 1: Open Browser
Step 2: Go to www.google.com/imghp
Step 3: Type, "baby orangutan"
Step 4: Click "Search Images"
Step 5: Smile

I am not usually this cheesy, but Oh Ma Gah. Those babies are so cute. Okay, I'm making myself sick and this makes me sad. Better repeat Step 1!

Happy mid-term elections!!!!

EDIT: I didn't think anything could be cuter, but then I remembered this little guy. 

Hmmm.

Is it just me, or are they trying to sell sweatpants painted up like blue jeans for $40?  What's next, nightgown prom dresses?   I mean really, do you know how lumpy most people's asses would be in these?  It is a good thing they are pajamas because then these lumpy assed girls will be properly dressed for a fashion nightmare.