Anybody got a tissue?

I have a confession to make.  I cried during the American Idol finale.

Twice.

The first time was when Brett Michaels came out to sing with dirty grocery store boy.  He came back from a near death experience to sing with a twerp.  The second time was when Simon said goodbye.  I love Simon, but I really didn't anticipate that reaction.  I am blaming hormones for this embarrassing moment, but I think I am actually just a dork.

I still miss you Jim.

Today is the 20th anniversary of Jim Henson's death. 

He was a quiet genius.  Willing to take a back seat and let the Muppets develop personalities of their own.   I had never cried over a "celebrity's" passing until the day he died, and haven't since (except maybe Jeff Buckley, but I was a little drunk then and probably would have cried anyway).

I still love you Jim and miss *your* Kermit the frog.  The new guy is good, but I can tell the difference.  Thanks for bringing me joy and making me smile still after all these years.  Now off to watch Kermit and Piggy save the Fabulous Baseball Diamond from Charles Grodin.

Today I burped.

Yes, I know, this is not a shocker.  I burp all the time; in fact, that was to be my talent at 4-H camp.  I could burp the alphabet.  I was good at it.  I would go so far as to say I was the Michael Jordan of alphabet burping, but apparently the talent show judges at camp didn't think burping was a "talent".  Whatever, they suck.

I digress, today I was sitting, having a conversation with a co-worker when a burp slipped out.  Just came out loud and proud.  This has never happened to me.  I always have a warning.  It may be a short one, but it is at least enough time to close my mouth or muffle the sound.  This was completely unexpected.  I am freaking out.  What if this happens when I meet President Obama, or Paul McCartney?  I will never be the same again.   How can I ever relax again?

5 reasons I will never have a facebook:

1. I do not have time to sit in front of my computer and read about the minutia of people lives. I would never sit and listen to these details on the phone, or tolerate such banality in person. Why would I waste time that could be spent doing more productive things like reading a 1000 page book?

2. I am a private person. Yes, I have a blog, but you will note that my name is not disclosed anywhere. There is a picture of me when I was four, but I don't think I look like that anymore. Anyways, I don't want to share with others. I live in a small town; people already know too much about me. And, did you know that facebook owns your pictures? They do. You may see your face on a billboard one day.

3. I don't like most people. I don't talk to people I went to high school or college with. This is purposeful. I have one or two friends that I keep in touch with, but for the most part, I hated those people. I was painfully weird and nerdy with a uni-brow in high school. I don't care to relive those moments.

4. Being a "friend" with someone on facebook does not make you friends. It is this kind of fake relationship that makes me want to barf. Be my friend, don't be my friend, but definitely don't be my fake friend on facebook.

5. And lastly, my Aunties have facebook accounts. They all get together and talk constantly about their status, farms and fish. I am so tired of being badgered by them to get an account that I am going nuts. I can tell you that if I were to be "friends" with my Aunties on facebook my life would have dropped to such a boring level that I would probably enjoy facebook. This makes me want to throw myself off of a silo in Farmville.

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What exactly is this trying to prove?

Bring me some meat and money!!!!!!

I was thinking today about what my "dream" job would be.  I thought for a long time and finally settled on... Food Critic.  Now, you may want to point out that in addition to tasty gourmet fare, food critics have to eat a lot of really nasty food.  This would not deter me.  I have eaten a lot of really bad food, and even enjoyed some of it.  Some people will say, "eww, don't get pizza there, it tastes disgusting", or "gross, that steak was way too tough"; to these people I say, phooey.   Even the worst pizza and/or steak is pretty good.  I think I could eat a few bad meals in order to be paid to chow down on some tasty vittles.  Now off to send in my resume to the local paper, the Tomahawk, so that my review of local gas station salads can commence.

Another WTF...

I was out on the town last night and came upon this band poster.  I think I know what is going on in this picture.  I really hope I am wrong about it.  I really hope that dolphin is choking on a fish stick while the unicorn gives him the Heimlich maneuver; however, I think there are darker forces at work here.  Most concerning of all is the, "all ages" printed in the lower corner.  

Do you wish to continue this transaction?

Is it weird that whenever I go through an ATM that charges a withdrawal fee I always take out at least $100.00?  I do this because I feel like I am getting more for the $2.00 fee.  Logically I realize that it is $2.00 coming out of my account regardless of the amount I withdraw.  Taking out a larger amount doesn't save me one thin dime, but it does make me feel better.  I realize it is not a percentages game as it is a flat fee.  But it looks better to have spent only 2% of the final take rather than 10%. 
My mind is a vast wasteland of stupid ideas, and this is only one.  I am a weirdo.